This is a difficult blog for me to write however it is something that I have been deeply thinking about for several months and would like to share……
My Bubbe was an extraordinary woman and an essential person in my life until she passed away this past December has been on my mind since she passed. She was a woman of her generation who did everything she could for her family and friends and never thought twice about it. She was not only a full time wife and mother but a full time friend to many, she always had her nose in something at synagogue and having her home be one filled with love, laughter, good Jewish food and a sense of Judaism was of the utmost importance.
This Pesach is the first Jewish holiday that my family is having without her and while it will be a wonderful holiday there is a bit of sadness in our hearts. As I have grown up my whole life living in her home, the holidays have always been a time for her to show off not just her sense of Judaism but her wonderful cooking. As Pesach is my favorite holiday I remember that one of my favorite things was waking up the day of the first Seder and the smell of her amazing matzo ball soup filled the house.
For my grandmother her Jewish identity was not shown by the candles she lit on Friday night or the blessings she would say but by her Jewish cooking. The Jewish Woman and her Home, a book that my grandmother constantly used was essential for her. We always knew where she would be sitting at our holiday table because her book would be placed as she was setting the table. She made sure that at every holiday she would read several passages and everyone had to listen. I hated that book growing up because it meant that for 10-15 minutes I would have to listen to probably the most boring Jewish book, my grandmother read because she felt the need to teach something Jewish to her family.
This morning when I woke up, I smelled all of the good Pesach food that my grandmother used to make and I looked in the dining room to see a beautiful table already set just as she would have liked it, but no book. Now I realize that, that book was a crucial part of my Jewish upbringing but more importantly that my Bubbe was my Jewish inspiration. My grandmother was the proudest when my sisters and my cousins, her grandchildren, began our formal Jewish education in Sunday school, had our bar/bat mitzvahs, read Hebrew to her and recited our prayers, went to Shabbat services, read Torah on the high holidays and maybe most importantly enjoyed her Jewish cooking.
Since my grandmother passed away, I have spent a lot of time why I believe the things I believe and want to live the Jewish lifestyle that I do, of course my parents had something to do with it, but I now realize that it is my Bubbe who has truly inspired me. She was the member of the sisterhood that everyone loved, a wonderful friend, and a woman who had the strongest Jewish identity I have ever known and instilled that in me, but most importantly she is the Jewish mother and grandmother that I can only hope to be.
Tonight when my family begins our Seder, my sister will read from my grandmother’s book as it is now our turn to continue my grandmother’s tradition of reading and teaching her family. It will be with some sadness as she is no longer with us, but she left my family and most importantly me with a sense of Jewish identity that I will always carry and that someday I hope to pass on to my children.
I love my Bubbe greatly and I miss her but her Jewish identity will fill me for the rest of my life as I continue on my path to becoming a Rabbi.
3 comments:
Hi Carly..
I am so sorry to hear about your Bubbe, and have trouble writing this response because Thank G-D I am still fortunate enough to have my Bubie.
I wanted to comment on the Jewish identity issue you discussed. My Bubie was a Holocaust survivor, yet that never stopped the creation of her Jewish identity. One may think that after experiencing such a horific time, Jewish faith could be lost. What is amazing is that so many Holocaust survivors' Jewish identity were strengthened after the war. As we have discussed in class, the formation of one's Jewish identity can be attributed to many things. I believe it really comes from within. I do not think a Jewish identity needs to be lighting candles every Friday night, or regularly attending Shabbat services. I feel it is how you show your Jewish identity and teach others through your own beliefs. This is seen through the story's of your Bubbe and my Bubie.
As long as you keep the memories of your Bubbe alive, she will always be with you. You have the ability to take what you have learned from her Jewish identity and apply it to your life. I hope you still had a great Passover even though your Bubbe was not physically there.
i also am so sorry to hear about the passing of your bubbe. im sure she was a great woman who contributed great things to not only the Jewish community but the world as a whole. This post made me think about my jewish identity and where it comes from. I have thought a lot about the fact that i am growing up and creating my own jewish identity, however this made me think about the fact that my parents and grandparents have a lot to do with who i have become. their stress of importance of the holidays, strong jewish values and ideals, and "how to be a mensch", has shaped the Jewish woman I am today. It is evident from your post that your bubbe has played a big part in your Jewish identity and as her memory lives on she will continue to guide your Jewish path.
I am so sorry Carly to hear about your Bubbe. She did seem like a wonderful woman. It is nice that you have realized that she was the one who inspired you in your Judaism. It is nice how you and your sister will carry on the book tradition and keep it going util you ave children one day.
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