“Your family does two Seders? You keep Pesach for eight days? I thought Reform Jews weren’t that observant… isn’t being that observant not a part of Reform Judaism to observe Pesach in that way?”- said by a friend of mine to me after being asked about my personal Pesach observance. Why is there such a stereotype from “religious” Jews towards reform Jews or in their eyes “less religious Jews”? It bothers me so much that it is assumed that because I am a Reform Jew or rather that I identify with the Reform Movement that I am less observant. While it is true that some reform Jews only hold one Seder and keep Passover for seven days there are those who do two Seders and keep Passover for eight days.
After she made that comment towards me I simply said to her “you shouldn’t put a label on the movement of Judaism that I identify with because you wouldn’t like it if I stereotyped the movement of Judaism that you identify with.” I almost feel as if Judaism is so divided between the movements and has so many stereotypes within the religion that we have almost become anti-Jewish towards each other.
It seems to me that many Jews have come to believe these stereotypes of Judaism, specifically Reform Judaism in my case, that we have forgotten that we are one religion, that we pray to the same G-D, that we read the same Torah, study the same Talmud and Midrash and that regardless of religious observance we are all still a part of the same religion: Judaism. While I do affiliate with the Reform movement, my family tends to be more traditional in our religious observance.
It is the tradition in my family to have two Seders and observe Pesach for eight days. And ultimately the comment that my friend made doesn’t just bother me in terms of Pesach but just in general that the belief is that.
As Jews we celebrate Passover as a way to commemorate our exodus from Egypt and rejoice in our freedom. So it seems to me that we should be coming together to rejoice and not separating because of movements. What does it say about the future of Judaism in terms of where the religion will be if these stereotypes and divisions within the religion continue?
4 comments:
i totally understand where you're coming from in that people automatically assume that because you identify as a reform jew you are not religious or observant. i think this is an ongoing struggle for many jews, especially for "less observant" jews.
i agree that the various jewish sects are having an internal struggle with who is "more jewish". i hope that eventually we will all realize that we are all jews and need to stick together, not fight against each other.
being someone who is in the process of becoming religious sometimes i find myself encouraging others to be more observant, but its not because i don't respect their observance level its that i find such fulfillment in what i'm doing that i want to share it with others.
its funny you say this because I was just in Connecticut for passover to celebrate with my mom's side of the family. We went to friday night services and they didnt stand and face the back during L'cha dodi, and they didnt stand at the beginning or during the middle of the reader's kaddish. (side note, they were using the new reform prayer book)
During the Amidah, they didnt leave time for people to pray silently they just did the first 3 parts then did a song. (it was the really cool camp oseh shalom- but VERY slow)
after the service I was going to ask the rabbi why they chose not to do these things, but ended up asking my grandma instead and she got all offended saying "we are Reform! why would we do such orthodox things!"
she also commented that she hated the birkat hamazon, stating that she never understood why the URJ camps make the kids do it- its too orthodox
In my personal experiences, more observant Reform Jews are the minority. Therefore, meeting an observant Reform Jew is a shock. Let me tell you, however, that you aren't the only ones being attacked for how you practice.
"Your parents are BOTH rabbis? Aren't you like so religious then?"
I hear this all of the time. I think that once you have an image of how a certain group (reform, rabbis' kids, etc) are supposed to practice their Judaism, it is hard to change your views. I think rather than getting defensive, it is important to state that while you identify with a certain group, you have your own way of practicing that is just as legitimate as anyone else's.
i undersatnd your frustrations completely, however its interesting to think about in a different way. I personally was very uneducated about the differences between the three movements until i took this class and I am a Jew who used to identify with one of the movements. These are stereotypes that exsist however, what is being done to educate Jewish children and the Jewish community about all of the different movemnts that exisit? It is not ignorance, simply being uneducated on the subjects. Looking at it from a differnt perspective...I can honestly say i am very uneducated about other religions of the world, however know that stereotypes exist there too...I certainly dont blame someone for making an assumption like this, however it would be nice if everyone was more educated on religion.
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