Trembling before G-D

I had never seen this documentary before….. from looking at the front of the DVD case I thought that the film was going to be about two men who are Hasidic Jews who call in love, but I was completely wrong.

The film interviews orthodox and Hasidic Jews who are gay and their rabbis and what they have to say about it, also is an interview with the first openly gay Orthodox rabbi. The film began with two quotes, one from Leviticus and one from the Schulchan Aruch about how it is an abomination for a man to lie with a man and woman to lie with a woman. Then after that are silhouettes of different religious acts.

Throughout the film these different Orthodox and Hasidic Jews talk about their feelings and experiences as gay Orthodox Jews. And their biggest question is if I am a good Orthodox Jew why can’t I be gay to? And the reason is because in the eyes of their rabbis and their communities it is a sin.

I could never imagine as one woman said that if she came out as a lesbian that her community could take her children away from her…. I couldn’t imagine such a thing. Some Orthodox Jews are so driven by their beliefs that it leads some to go crazy, leave their communities or commit suicide.

This film is inspirational and motivational. It really made me think about this comment that someone said in the extras that this film is “the greatest argument against Orthodox Judaism”. I have never thought anything bad about Orthodox Judaism because I think that they are good people who just observe their Judaism differently than I do but I never realized or even thought about Orthodox Jews being gay and what happens to them.

This film is a wonderful film that really shows the perspective of these people and their lives….. I am really glad that I saw the film and I think that it really is sad that for some of these Jews being gay is such a horrible thing that they suppress it their whole lives. I think it is ridiculous that there are Orthodox and Hasidic rabbis who tell their congregants to seek counseling to change so that they aren’t gay anymore. I truly believe that you can’t change your sexual orientation and if you try it will only make it worse.

I just can’t understand how these communities can do this to their friends and families? Why can’t someone be a good Hasidic or Orthodox Jew and be gay?

Today’s Israel Discussion....

Today’s discussion about Israel was very interesting. I have never heard such diverse views about Israel. I have grown up in the Reform Movement in which we always talk about Israel as this amazing place and that it is this really glorified experience that one must have.

I really want to go to Israel. I am planning to go on Birthright next spring and then I am also planning to study abroad there my junior year. I know that Birthright is a very structured experience in which they want you to feel this want to make Aliyah. I already know that as much as I am hoping that I will love Israel more once I have gone on Birthright and after I will hopefully live there for at least a semester that I do not want to live in Israel.

Olin Sang Ruby Union Institute (OSRUI) is the Jewish overnight camp where I spend my summers. OSRUI has a very strong connection to Israel and instills that into the kids. We have counselors and other staff members from Israel every summer, and our Hebrew program is centered very closely around Israel as it is ran by Israelis. We have Israel Day every summer, where the kids participate in all kinds of activities and every week the kids participate in Israeli dancing.

After today’s class I really thought about Israel experiences, why they are so important, and why parents and kids push so hard to go to Israel? I think that the reason Jews especially youth want to go to Israel so badly is because it is supposed to give you this intense “Jewish” experience, one that is so different from the American Jewish experience. Israel is a very important thing to Jewish people but I think that it is more important let Israel and the things we experience their inspire us to be more connected to Judaism and to be more active Jews, rather than looking to our Israel experiences to give us more “intense” Jewish experiences.

I can’t wait to go to Israel!!!

Jewish Music?

I have grown up listening to Debbie Freidman, Rick Recht, Dan Nichols, and Eighteen. I have gone to many of their concerts, I own many of their CD’s and I have never really thought about why I consider their music “Jewish Music”, until after our classed discussed “Jewish Music”.

At first I thought it might be because most of their music stems from different prayers or different parts of liturgy. Rick Recht, is my favorite of the “Jewish” artists, a lot of his music are prayers put to his own music. They are very catchy tunes and interesting melodies for prayers that I have said since I was a little girl. The music that he writes put new twists on old words that are very important to Judaism.

Then I thought maybe it was the ideals or values that are embodied in these songs. Ideals and values such as Tikkun Olam, Kehilah Kedoshah, the hope of Israel, the hope of our children and the future of the Jewish people. Rick Recht’s song “Tomorrow Today” from his album Shabbat Alive is about the 2000 year journey of the Jewish people and what the future of the Jewish people could be if we continue to give to it. This idea of what the Jewish people will be if we can give it, if we continue the pride of our culture and lifelong learning so that we will survive in the future. This song is meant to empower Jewish youth to continue learning and continue the visions of the Jewish people so that we can continue to thrive in the future.

Then I thought the reason this music is considered “Jewish” is because of where it is often played. In my synagogue's Sunday school we often teach these songs to the kids. At camp music from Debbie Freidman, Rick Recht and Dan Nichols is heard constantly. At youth conventions and programs this music is usually included in some way or another. Every year in Chicago at one or more of the many Walk with Israel’s this music is played. The locations of where the music of these artists are played are Jewish settings and Jewish places filled with Jewish people.

After I thought about it more it’s not just what these songs say, what they imply, what they teach or where they are played that makes them “Jewish”, it is what those who listen to it receive from it. When I listen to songs such as “The Hope”, “Kehilah Kedoshah”, and “You will Love”, I connect with Judaism in my own way. Whether I am listening to this music on my iPod, participating in a song session, at a concert or at my synagogue teaching these songs to the kids, I am connecting with Judaism. These songs teach me and make me think about a lot of the reasons that I am Jewish. So in the question of “Jewish Music”, for me it is what I take from these songs that makes them Jewish.

The Holocaust: not an experience to fabricate....

“Misha: A Mémoire of the Holocaust Years” might be a fantastic novel to read but it infuriates me that this woman wrote this book and claimed it to be truth but is now saying that it is not. A book that is written as fiction is taken as such, but a book that is written as a Mémoire is taken as some sort of truth. There are fictional books written about the Holocaust that can teach us and help us remember the Holocaust but no one is claiming that any of the experiences that happen in a fictional book actually happened.

In a Mémoire, it is supposed that most of what the person is writing about is some truth, it is true that most survivors or most people who talk about their life experiences won’t remember every detail but overall their story is truth. This woman wrote a Mémoire and than after it had sold thousands of copies she came out and said that it wasn’t an actual event in her life but rather her own reality. In my opinion she lied about an event and wrote a book about it and then revealed the truth. The Holocaust is not an event that one should fabricate, if she wanted to write this book, as I have heard it is really good, she should have claimed it fiction. I really believe that fiction novels about the Holocaust are important, but then it begs the question that if someone can fabricate an experience, and writes about it as a truth, then what makes all the Holocaust survivors who tell their stories important?

My father was born in Germany and was a very small baby when his parents escaped Germany right after Hitler came to power before the Jews began to lose their rights and their lives, however the rest of his family other than him and his parent did not escape. My grandparents died before I was born so I don’t know what happened to the rest of their family other than the fact that they died in a ghetto or in one of the camps. It hurts me that this person wrote this book and claimed it as truth until after it was published. As time goes on there will be less and less Holocaust survivors to share their stories and if someone can create this story then all of the people who believe that the holocaust didn’t happen have even more evidence to say what they believe.

While I know that a lot of authors write books about things that they have never experienced they classify them as fiction. I think that the Holocaust is an event in history that should be remembered and talked about so that it can never happen again but I think that there is a difference between surviving it and telling your story and not remembering all the details and writing a book based upon an experience that you have never had and calling it a Mémoire. I intend on reading this book, however now that I know that it is not based on real experience I plan on reading it a fictional book. It really bothers me that publishers will take the word of an author and not do a little research before allowing a book to be published under a classification that it does not belong in.

The Holocaust is not an event that one should fabricate a personal experience from and write about. While I acknowledge that the author said that this event was not an actual reality it was her reality, it does not change the fact that she wrote about an experience as a Mémoire that she had never experienced.

Jew camp.. An unforgettable experience.

Olin Sang Ruby Union Institute is one of the Jewish overnight camps affiliated with the reform movement. I have spent every summer there since I was 11 years old. OSRUI is a wonderful place where Jewish kids from all over the country spend 2-8 weeks being kids, making friendships of a lifetime, learning Hebrew, learning about Israel, making connections with their college ages counselors and continue to shape their Jewish identities.

Every day at camp is wonderful, but Shabbat is an experience that is unforgettable. Every Friday night each eidah (unit) has their own Kabbalat Shabbat services and then the entire camp joins together for Shabbat dinner and Kiddush. After we say the Birkat Hamazon (prayer after the meal) as a camp we then go to Shabbat Shira. Shabbat Shira is a time where the whole camp fits into this one tiny building and the song leaders lead us in song session that is an unforgettable experience. 500+ people in one room singing as loud as they can is an experience that is indescribable. During the middle of the song session the director of camp tells a story with some sort of a Jewish point or value, and every summer he tells the same story. Some of the stories are really good and some of them are not but they always have a Jewish message. For the older kids on Friday night after Shabbat Shira they move to the sports center for Israeli dancing.

While Shabbat is probably my favorite part of camp, the whole experience is one that I never want to forget. I believe that OSRUI I found my Jewish identity. I have always loved being Jewish and I have always embraced it. I remember the first T'filah (services) I experience there. I was only 11 years old and I was surrounded by 100 other kids my age and I closed my eyes and listened. I heard not only the voices of the 100 other kids, but the voices of our counselors, rabbis and the sound of nature. Over the years I have found myself praying in ways I never thought I could, learning Hebrew and speaking it with Israelis, and more importantly I found my reason for being Jewish, community.

Community! At camp the rabbis, educators, counselors and kids all become a community. From the first dinner together to our last Tfliah of the summer we are a community. We pray together, live together, eat together, learn together and have fun together. We study Tikkun Olam and what being Jewish kids and teenagers means as a community. I have never felt such a sense of completeness as I do at camp. I love being a member of my synagogue but the feeling you get at camp is one unlike any other community. I remember the summer going into my junior year of high school I was in Chalutzim, the seven week Hebrew immersion program. I didn’t know if I was going to find a sense of community because our counselors only spoke Hebrew to us. But that first night when we prayed all in Hebrew, I have never felt such a sense of community. There were new prayers that we didn’t know and for kids who didn’t read Hebrew that well it was a challenge but we helped each other and when we did know something we sang it as loud as we could!

OSRUI has taught me how to be a Jewish person. It is an experience that I will never forget! Now that I will be going to camp this summer as a second year counselor, I get to teach and instill that same sense of community that my counselors gave to me. While camp is not for everyone it is an experience that I highly recommend for any kid. It is because of OSRUI that I want to be a Rabbi. The Rabbis at camp have always been my remodels of how a Jewish person can become a rabbi and do so many good things for kids! I hope that someday when I am a rabbi that I will be able to instill all the things my rabbis at camp have taught me!

105 days left till camp!!!!!!

Where do I belong?

I have often felt that maybe I don’t belong in the Reform Movement. I like more Hebrew in my service than most and I find that I tend to enjoy conservative services. I have always enjoyed keeping Shabbat with my friends and keeping kosher is a very important part of my life, however I always get the best feeling when I pray at my home synagogue or at camp. I love being apart of the reform movement and I have realized by having people in my life that are “more religious” or feel that they are more religious because of the movement that they affiliate with that I am proud to be and affiliate with the reform movement!

Reform Judaism is often stereotyped as Jews who don’t practice and aren’t religious and in some movements they do not consider reform Jews as Jewish. I believe that the way I express my Jewish identity must be defined by what I do as a Jew and not what movement I affiliate with. It often makes me mad that when people who are orthodox Jews meet me, and I tell them that I am a reform Jew, they don’t take me seriously as a practicing Jew. But I am a more active Jew in the reform movement than some people are in the conservative or orthodox movement.

As a reform Jew I am free to show my Jewish identity however I want because I have studied the texts and have learned the rules. I attend services every Friday night and Saturday morning, I observe all the Jewish holidays, I am committed to lifelong learning and teaching, but more importantly I live my life by the core values that Jewish people live by: trying to make our world a better place by Tikkun Olam, the repairing of our world, and caring for others. My identity as a Jew is not defined by the movement I affiliate with but all of the things I do and say that make me a Jew.

On a daily basis, I try to make sure that all of the decisions I make and the things that I say reflect the kind of Jew I am. I aspire to be a rabbi so that I can carry on the traditions of the Jewish people and continue with Tikkun Olam. My Jewish identity is clearly defined as how I identify myself as a Jew. I agree with the statement that Jewish Identity must be defined by the way people identify themselves however, I think that the movement that Jews “identify with” is not enough to make their Jewish identity, they must define themselves by what they do as Jews.