Matchmaker Matchmaker make me a Match…

The classic “Fiddler on the Roof,” is one of the many movies that could be considered a “Jewish film” and one of the many parts of the film is the idea of a matchmaker. "Fiddler on the Roof" is one of my favorite films and plays but everytime I see it and I think about being set up by a matchmaker and what that must have been like I appreciate the fact that a matchmaker is not something that is such a common practice in todays society. A matchmaker was something that was very popular at the time when my great grandparents got married and is a phenomenon that has declined over time, or has it? JDATE, a Jewish dating site where one can pay to have a profile and receive matches, is on every Jewish website as an advertiser. It is a very popular site and one that is geared specifically for Jewish matches. Is JDATE the new matchmaker?

I have heard so many people talk about JDATE, whether they have had a good or bad experience from it… but when I thought about the essence of JDATE, I thought of a matchmaker. While it is not an actual person doing the matching, it is a computer. Based on your own information you are matched with people of similar backgrounds, likes, and interests. Has the phenomena of a matchmaker become a phenomena based within a computer?

While I know a lot of people who have had a lot of success finding someone on JDATE, it still seems kind of funny that people pay to meet someone online and when my grandmother used to talk about her parents and their matchmaker experience I often used to laugh. I used to say “a matchmaker that is so silly, I would never want to be matched by someone else”, but look at all the people who spend so much money on sites like JDATE to meet someone. My family has seen that sometimes JDATE does work. My cousin Andy met his wife Jill on JDATE. They both created profiles after having some not so good dating experiences just to see what would happen. Well within about 3 weeks they were matched with each other and within a year of their dating there were married and now they have twins. However not everyone finds success on JDATE.

This is the difference between JDATE and what a matchmaker was in the time of my great grandparents. If the matchmaker made you a match you took it. My grandmother used to tell me stories of how the matchmaker for her parents matched them up and originally neither of them was happy but they grew to love each other and have a wonderful life. However, now days on JDATE if someone winks at you or looks at you, it is very easy to reject them if you aren’t interested.

Overall, I think JDATE can be used in great ways and it is a fantastic idea if you think about the magnitude of a dating site like that. It is truly a million dollar idea. As funny as I thought the idea of my great grandparents being set up by a matchmaker was I can no longer comment because JDATE has taken the idea of a matchmaker to a whole new meaning.

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“The Tribe” and Jewish Film

“The Tribe” is a fantastically made film that really portrays some of the stereotypes of Jewish people and really all people in general. The pictures, clips, music, humor and narration of the film display many clear messages. For me the greatest message is that to be Jewish, Muslim, Christian, or any other faith or nationality you don’t have to look at certain way. Using Barbie as the example of this, Barbie has traditionally been a white doll with blond hair and a great figure, traditionally Barbie is the perfect thing with the perfect life. While through the years Barbie has been created in every color, size, shape, nationality, religion and anything else that one can create in a doll, Barbie is the example that it doesn’t matter what you look like because you can identify yourself with whatever you want.

In one part of the film it displays the traditional Barbie in what the film calls “The American Dream”. It is interesting that this blond doll, in this toy house was identified as “The American Dream” because typically “The American Dream” is associated in this dream family or person who looks so perfect; it is not typically associated with Jews or any other type of person.

This film truly plays on the many stereotypes of Judaism. At the end of the film, when we listen the Vanessa Carlton, the Hebrew Mamita talk about her experience with the use of all the pictures going backwards really shows that Vanessa may defy the stereotypes of a Jewish person, she is clearly a Jew.

What does “The Tribe” have to do with Jewish film? Is it the use of Jewish history, pictures of Jews, music that is often associated with Judaism, reference of the Holocaust, Jewish religious movements, or Israel references? Can a film be called a “Jewish Film”? For me this film initially was not considered a Jewish film. However after class and after thinking about it I asked myself, “What needs to be in a film if it is going to be considered “Jewish”? I realized that in my opinion it must contain values of Judaism, portray a Jewish message, portray a Jewish experience or teach us something about Judaism. “The Tribe” addresses stereotypes of Judaism and uses words and ideas associated with Judaism; it is a Jewish film because one of its messages can be that there isn’t one way to define a Jew. One doesn’t have to “look” Jewish to be Jewish, to be Jewish to identify with the values and ideals of Judaism.

I really liked the film and I think it is fantastically done!

Second Life

I haven’t posted in a while so here it goes…..

Second Life, a virtual world, is one website that I have a lot of issues with. While I admit it’s a cool game and could be fun to create a virtual character to have a little fun with is not a replacement for the real world. I think it is interesting that there are “Jewish Communities” that have been created in this virtual world. While I understand that you can study Chabad off of it and you can pray at a Kotel, it is not real. The learning of Chabad does not actually take place in this world. It will only lead you to a Chabad website that could have been easily found through Google. While I encourage all kinds of Jewish Learning, I cannot encourage or support a virtual Jewish world.

It is true that there are people who spend hours on JDATE looking for partners however; they at least meet in the real world. JDATE is not a replacement for dating in the real world, however just another way of finding people to date in the real world. I think using Second Life as a Jewish Community goes against the strong belief in a Jewish Community.

For me there is nothing Jewish about building a Sukkah on a virtual site, or praying at a Kotel that is on a computer screen. I don’t see what is Jewish about that. While I recognize that there are some people who really participate in the virtual Jewish community and truly believe it to be a real Jewish community. I as a practicing Jew, an aspiring Rabbi or just a real person cannot call a synagogue on a virtual site a Jewish community.

I think it raises to many questions and too much tension that someone can take the easy way out and participate in a Jewish community on a virtual site that all other participants may not be Jewish. I can’t understand why someone would want to participate in this kind of Judaism.

More importantly, what does this section of Second Life say about the future of Judaism? If people can be a part of a virtual Jewish community where they may never really interact with another Jew, what is going to happen to our Jewish community? It would be so much easier to just pray online in the comfort of our own homes and make contributions to the Jewish community online, but then what kind of fulfillment of Mitzvot does one get out of that? What kind of fulfillment of G-D does one get out of that kind of Judaism?

I could never pray off of an online site or make contributions towards Tzedakah online. It would hurt me if I couldn’t go to my synagogue and participate in the building of the Sukkah or pray with my friends and family in our sanctuary. It scares me that this virtual world has a strong Jewish component that was wanted my participants of this game. It makes me wonder in 10 years will my Jewish community be a virtual one?

Hope that the semester is going well for everyone!!!